Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Man's Search for Meaning in the Early 21st Century

It's always tough trying to find out the truth nowadays, and nowhere is that more apparent then in personal nutrition. So, in accordance with our very real motto that we definately have of "Always help those other peoples" we at Papillon va la Voiture have done our research and have come up with some definitive rules to stay healthy.


- Eat between the hours of 12:00 AM and 11:59 PM
       It helps store fat.
- Eat an entire pound of bacon.
      Unless you want to die happy.
- Bathe in cooking oil.
      It's not as good of an idea as it sounds.
Eat green eggs and ham.
       You won't stop rhyming for days.
- Eat your neighbor.
       It's inconsiderate.
- Flash a police officer
      This has nothing to do with nutrition, but it's still not a good idea.

- Have a rigorous exercise routine involving fighting off ninjas.
      This has been known to make life more enjoyable as well,
Separate the recyclables from the regular trash.
      Come on guys, every little bit helps.
- Eat TWO pounds of bacon.
- Have a balanced diet incorporating plenty of fruits and vegetables, try to limit all sweets and fatty foods.  Have lean meats high in protein and have about 8 cups of water a day.
     What the?  Where did that come from?
- Wrap both hands in toilet paper, duct tape your forehead and sing "Oh Holy Night" backwards...and in Latin.
     You'll just have to trust us on this one.

And there you have it.  You're one step closer to being the disciplined army we'll need for world conquest...er, one step closer to being healthy.

The Gentlemen
-Kevin Michael Shiley
-Andrew Martin Dodson


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